Making friends at work used to be easy-peasy! You could hang back at the end of a meeting and chat, you could bring Starbucks into the office (who doesn't love a free latte?) or connect over drinks at the open bar at a work event.
But with remote and hybrid work becoming more common, the way we start and grow work friendships has admittedly changed a lot. And as a therapist in Los Angeles, I understand how important it is to have those work besties, as much of us spend the majority of our lives working. Just because things have changed, doesn't mean you can't reap the mental health benefits of having work friends. Here are a few things to focus on:
The Importance of Work Friendships
Working remotely can be isolating. Finding work friends who understand your daily struggles from a first-hand perspective is an important part of maintaining work/life balance and positive mental health. If you are in a career that has unique demands that only someone else in your field gets, this makes having work friends even more vital. Making connections at work not only benefits you personally, but also professionally. Often your work friends become your biggest allies and cheerleaders, helping you attain higher levels of success.
Actionable Tips for Making Work Friends Remotely
1 | Take the First Step
The biggest hurdle to making friends isn’t actually the logistical aspect of reaching out and getting connected, but the mental piece of taking the first step. If you think something is hard, you’ll find excuses not to do it. But if you see it as easy and fun, you’re more likely to follow through. Consider making a friend virtually the same as you would making a friend in person. Find a way to connect with them outside of the work setting and take it step-by-step from there. You could follow and message them on a social media platform or get their personal email to make a connection. Don’t overcomplicate it.
2 | Show Your Personality
Infuse more of your personality and sense of humor into your work interactions. If people see you just as a colleague, then it’s harder to make the jump into a friendship. But if they see you as someone who is likable, engaging, and interesting in a work setting, it’s much easier to make a suggestion to hang out outside of work.
3 | Plan Group Activities
If reaching out to one person specifically feels too intimate, you could put together a group hangout with some people from the office to go get drinks or food locally. You could even plan a more novel group activity like bowling, pickleball, or ax throwing. Doing an activity can break through initial awkwardness as everyone has something to focus on other than just keeping conversation going.
4 | Diversify Your Conversations
One thing to remember: try not to focus solely on work-related topics. Of course, some venting about a frustrating situation at the office is inevitable, but see if you can get to know your coworkers on a more personal level by asking them about their families, interests, and hobbies. These conversations are more likely to lead to a more meaningful connection.
A Personal Example
During the pandemic, I attended a virtual training for therapists in California. I kept my camera on the whole time, introduced myself, asked lots of questions, and stayed authentically engaged the entire meeting. Someone else at the event noticed me among the crowd and reached out to schedule a 1:1 virtual chat to get to know one another better. We hit it off and have cultivated a 100% online friendship to this day. Had I had my camera off, skipped the introduction and kept quiet with my questions, this person would have never noticed my presence there, and this friendship wouldn’t have developed. Sometimes it’s the simple act of showing up fully that makes all the difference.
Final Thoughts
Stay the course. Be consistent even if some of your early efforts fail. Your community is out there. Building work friendships, especially in remote or hybrid environments, may take time and effort, but the personal and professional benefits are well worth it. Embrace the opportunities to connect, and you’ll find your circle of support before you know it.
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Disclaimer
This post is meant for educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for diagnosis, assessment or treatment of mental conditions. If you need professional help, seek it out.
About the author
Hi! I'm Natalie. And my passion is helping ambitious, creative millennials achieve everything they want in life, career and relationships. I provide in-person therapy in Pasadena and online therapy throughout California. Click here to get started.
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