How to Make Time for Yourself (Even if You’re Insanely Busy!)

With all that needs to get done in the average day, it’s no surprise that many people say they simply don’t have time for themselves. I get this. I’ve definitely gone through periods where I was so overwhelmed with work and other responsibilities that I genuinely didn’t think I had time for self-care.

Although it’s still a challenge for me, I’ve realized that taking care of myself needs to be the number one priority. Yes – even more important than work! Think of it this way, if you aren’t healthy you can’t work. So you need to consider your self-care first, before you can accomplish anything else well.

As a holistic therapist in Los Angeles, I typically broach the topic of self-care early on in my work with clients. I often hear something like, "that all sounds great, but I just don't have the time!" If you’re at a loss for how to do this, I’ve compiled a list of suggestions here that may help you squeeze more time out of each day for you and only you:

1 | Give Yourself a Curfew

Have a set “bedtime” and “wake up time” each day, to ensure you’re fully rested with plenty of energy to tackle your day. To make this habit work, you’ll also probably need to set an electronics curfew for yourself – i.e. turning your phone on silent and shutting down your computer about an hour before bed. This would also include stopping any work activities around that time to allow yourself to wind down.

2 | Strip Down to the Essentials

Make a short list of your major priorities. Any time you think to do something or are asked to do something, run it through this mental filter:

"What impact does this activity have on my number 1 priorities?"

If it has a positive or neutral impact, go ahead and do it! If it has a negative impact (and it's not something you're required to do) find a way to opt out.

This is the simplest but probably the most challenging to do of all of the tips in this article because it requires you to strengthen the "no," muscle, which can be tough, especially for people-pleasers. I will tell you that this mental filter exercise has been a game-changer for me in my personal life.

3 | Prioritize Self-Care

I love to use author Stephen Covey’s concept from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People of putting the “Big Rocks” in first. A great explanation of this idea can be found in this video from minute 2:27 - 4:27 (but you should watch the whole thing, if you have time!) The best way to prioritize “me time” is to do it first thing in the day so you can't defer it or skip it when something else (inevitably!) comes up. This also gets you started on the right foot. Another way to achieve this is to carve out self-care time on your calendar in advance. The trick is, you have to stick to it!

4 | Get Good at Saying "No"

Nothing will change unless you do. If you need more time for yourself you must start saying "no" to other people. This is going to be an important strategy especially for those who LOVE to please others. It will also be challenging. But it’s going to yield amazing results.

Need help saying no? My favorite trick is to say "I need to think about it, I'll get back to you. When do you need an answer by?" This way, you’re buying yourself time to decide whether or not you want to or can take on the responsibility. It also affords you the time to build up your courage to say “no,” if that’s the appropriate response.

5 | Plan Ahead

Think about how much time we spend grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning up afterwards. That's why I meal-plan, batch-cook and pre-prep all my meals. It saves loads of time in the evening that I can then spend rejuvenating instead of doing chores. Extra tip? Prep water bottles and snacks in advance, too. Read here for some brilliant meal prep ideas.

6 | Exercise in the Morning

This kills two birds with one stone – you're getting your "Big Rocks" in early in the day and you need to shower in the morning anyway, so you might as well do it after exercise. :P Another reason to do this is I hear SO many clients say things like "once I get home from work, I'm too exhausted to exercise." If you get your sweat on in the morning before work, you won't expend all of your energy at the job.

7 | Do Chores Together

If you have a partner you live with, do your chores (like dish washing, laundry etc.) together to make it go by twice as fast. This has an added bonus of not bickering over who did dishes last!

8 | Learn How to Delegate

As tough as it can be to let go of control, find those tasks that are better suited to outsource to someone else. Maybe steaming your work clothes for an hour on the weekend is better spent at a yoga class and the clothes can be dropped at the cleaners'. Your time is valuable! Ask for help. Maybe your sister can pick your kids up from school once a week and give you that chance to go to that therapy session or have that acupuncture appointment. If you have the budget, hire an assistant to take care of daily tasks that tend to pile up. Think about what will work best for you and your family. You don't have to go at life alone. Seek and create support.

9 | Stop Multitasking

Let's just face it: humans are terrible at multitasking. It's better to do something right the first time, then to have to waste time correcting it because you thought you could do 2 or more things at once. The idea that we can get more done as a result of multitasking is just a big lie that we tell ourselves to feel more productive. Stanford research supports the notion that humans don't multitask well. C'mon, it's science.

10 | Ditch Distraction

Try this out. For one week: no Netflix and no social media. GAH! The horror! Just try it out. You'll see how much time you truly have. If you can’t cut out the distraction quite yet, at least see if you can log how much time you spend engaged in these activities. Then you might be motivated to cut them out!

11 | Set Boundaries at Work

You may think that you have no time for yourself simply because you don't set appropriate boundaries around your work schedule. Don't work super late or super early to finish everything. Actually work the hours you're supposed to work – no more, no less. When asked to take on extra projects, find ways to delegate, deprioritize or say "no." If this is hard for you to do, refer back to tip #4 on this list.

12 | Turn Your Commute Into "Me" Time

Do you have a physical office you drive to and from on work days? If so, use your commute as an opportunity to enjoy some alone time. First off, give yourself plenty of time to get to work so that you can actually drive calmly and – dare I say, enjoy the commute.

Use it as an opportunity to practice mindful driving – obviously continue to pay attention to the road, but also bring awareness to your 5 senses (How does the A/C feel on your skin? What sounds do you notice? How does the steering wheel feel in your hands?) Or you can try listening to your favorite playlist, an inspiring podcast or an audiobook.

Look, as a therapist in Los Angeles, I know that being on the road isn't always the most relaxing environment, but I also know it's all about how you respond to stressors on the road. Try to go with the flow. If you feel yourself becoming agitated, focus on your breath.

13 | Enjoy Your Grooming

Personal hygiene can feel like a chore if you let it become that. Instead, think of your routine as an opportunity to pamper yourself! Take a bath instead of a shower, light a candle or some incense, get some nice personal care products that smell nice. Turn wash time into "me time."

14 | Double Up

Do something rejuvenating with friends. Often as Millennials and Gen-Zers, we think we need to go to a bar or restaurant with friends to socialize. This can unfortunately lead to drinking too much (hello, hangover!) and feeling drained afterwards. Mix it up! Invite friends on a morning hike instead. This has multiple benefits – you're getting social connection and exercise at the same time. (Now THIS is the kind of multitasking I don't have a problem with.)

15 | Be Present

When you're engaging with your partner, kids, friends, whomever, prioritize QUALITY of time. This way, you will feel good about taking time for yourself, as opposed to feeling guilty about take time away from these other people. Same goes for work. When you're doing it, do it really well, so when you're not working you're NOT working.

16 | Simplify, Organize and Streamline

Owning less stuff, having the stuff you own organized and putting systems in place will give you much more "me" time. For example, if you let mail pile up, you might have to spend an hour on a Sunday sorting through it when that time could be spent going to a yoga class. But if you have a system of opening your mail daily, recycling the envelopes and junk, shredding the credit card offers and putting the "keep" mail in a special folder, you can easily make time for that Sunday class.

17 | Expect the Unexpected

Free time usually shows up when we least expect it. E.g. a friend cancels plans, a meeting gets postponed, you find yourself waiting for 30 minutes because the doctor is running late, etc. Expect that these chunks of time will appear. Instead of doomscrolling, have a plan.

Plan out ideas in advance (you could keep them stored in your notes app) of short “me time” activities that can be accomplished in certain time chunks (15 minutes, 30 minutes, etc.) so that when unexpected time appears, you are prepared. For example, you could listen to a 15-minute meditation, do 30 minutes of stretching, or if you only had 5 minutes, you could call and make a massage appointment. The options are limitless. For more on this, listen to this episode from "The 5 a.m. Miracle" podcast.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, we make time for what is most important to us. If you decide that making time for yourself is a priority, you WILL carve out the time for self-care. Also, remember that change doesn’t happen overnight. Some of these strategies might be easy to implement, whereas others may be very challenging. Be gentle with yourself. Self-care is supposed to be enjoyable, and not another “to do” on the list. So go slow and enjoy.

I hope these recommendations were helpful to you! Do you use any of these strategies? What has worked for you and what hasn’t? I’d love to learn from your successes. Please share in the comments below.

Crisis Support

If you need help right away, please utilize the following crisis resources.

Disclaimer

This post is meant for educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for diagnosis, assessment or treatment of mental conditions. If you need professional help, seek it out.

---

About the author

Hi! I'm Natalie. And my passion is helping ambitious, creative millennials achieve everything they want in life, career and relationships. I provide in-person therapy in Pasadena and online therapy throughout California. Click here to get started.